pagan anthroposophy redux

pagan anthroposophy redux

Amanda Nabas Silva Santos said of an earlier post, that they stopped reading at “pagan anthroposophy”.

The term “pagan” was used by early “Christians” to assert that the goddess mysteries were less than their mysteries. “Paganism is a term first used pejoratively in the fourth century by early Christians for people in the Roman Empire who practiced polytheism.” Wikipedia

In Karmic Relationships: Esoteric Studies – Volume IV Schmidt Number: S-592@ On-line since: 30th April, 2011: IV…/Eng…/APC1957/19240912a01.htmlSteiner discusses the Culmination Event, where Aristotelians and Platonists would incarnate together at the end of the 20th Century.

The following is a quote from an article by Stephen Usher: “Further, he [Steiner] states that a great Culmination of the Anthroposophical Movement should occur at the end of the Century, and upon this depended the fate of civilization. If the Culmination actually occurred, civilization would receive a new impulse that would lift it to a higher stage, but if it failed then a terrible and inevitable decay would result. The key participants in the Culmination drama are the Aristotelians and the Platonists. The former include Rudolf Steiner and most of the souls who established Anthroposophy at the beginning of the Century. The latter included the great masters of the School of Chartres in France who typically incarnate out of sync with the Aristotelians but who would incarnate in sync with them to achieve the Culmination.

“Many people have thought that the differences between the Aristotelians, and the Platonists, was rooted in “philosophical” considerations. This is mistakenSocrates and Plato were initiates in the goddess religions, or in fourth century Christian terms, they were “pagans”.

A quote from the above lecture:

“Then we see how man himself in his outer bodily nature partakes in the life and movement of the Earth, Water, Air, Fire which become in him the organic form and figure. They who thus looked into the life and movement of the Elements, of Earth, Water, Air and Fire did not see mere natural laws, but behind all this life and movement they saw a great and living Being, the Goddess Natura. And from their vision they had an immediate feeling that this Goddess Natura shows only one side of her being to man to begin with, while the other side remains hidden in the world in which man spends the time of sleep between falling asleep and reawakening. For then the ego and astral body are in a spiritual environment which lies at the foundation of Nature. The ego and astral body are with the elemental beings who underlie the Elements. Everywhere in the scattered schools and spiritual centres to which I have referred we find the teachers speaking to larger or smaller groups of pupils, and telling them how in the outer phenomena of Nature as they appear to men in waking life, the Goddess Natura shows only one part of her living and creative being. While on the other hand, in all the working in the Elements in wind and weather, in all that surrounds the human being and constitutes him, there also works what the human being cannot see, what is hidden from him in the darkness of sleep.

This is part of why – in my biography – I first studied the works of Franz Bardon, on the ancient Egyptians Hermetic Science, aka: Magic, before learning of Steiner. Those works are a modernization of the importance of the secrets of the four elements: fire/will; air/intellect; water/feeling; and, earth/consciousness.

the myth of the mutating virus

We are hearing a lot of the mutating virus, and the dangers of these variants. Is there something happening that is less worrisome? One of the beliefs of the religion of scientific materialism (all is matter, there is no spirit), is that physical reality as made up of “parts”.

In the mysteries of time, aka: the big bang, lots of little things appeared (no one has seen this, so there is no actual empirical evidence). These soulless tiny bits are being studied at Cern’s billion dollar toy for physics, a superconducting supercollider, which uses huge magnetic fields to throw “particles” smaller than even a neutron, at each other at near “light speeds”.

The resulting debris is stuff with a half-life almost immeasurably small. It is there and gone almost before the collection chamber can see it, much less measure it.

Random and chance accidents have then – over eons of time themselves so huge as to beyond measure themselves – organized themselves into the sensible world we experience today.

Yet, if you ask a scientist to point to somewhere in “nature” a place where the lifeless generates life, they can’t do that. Only life, generates the lifeless. An embryos’ growing organism only produces bones after a time of pure biological living activity.

Imagine a Planet, larger the Life, producing over time the geological record (“bones”), of a long set of joined processes of multiple instances of metamorphosis.

Today, the same thinking which manages not to notice this, notices that when disease (of a certain type) is present in an organism, there often exists very tiny proliferating micro organisms (germs), some so small (viruses) they are mere pieces of the bigger living stuff. Shift gears for a moment, and consider this work: Gerbert Grohmann’s “The Plant, vol. I and II”, a gospel of Life, of the Earth and Consciousness.

His view, as a Goethean scientist, is that the Plant is a single organism. From the great trees, to the tiniest living (self-reproducing) entities. The life sphere of the living Planet has a single unitary entity that is involved in exchange process necessary for more complex living organisms, such as animals and human beings. Even in micro-physics, the tiny particles can become separated in space, yet still influence each other. Is this the alleged quantum realm, or “In It (the Word) was Life, and the Life was the Light of the World”.

The idea of contagion has always required an assumption. The tiny organism (germ, virus) causes the illness state in the human organism in which we find it present. It is true that both are present, which is called “association”, yet medicine also knows that mere association is not proof of a causal relation.

If we drive through an area where there are many dairy farms, we will observe, nested in the wonderful fields of grass, happy contented cows. The contagion idea would argue that the happy cows caused the ripe fields to exist.

This riddle of the role of the environment in the observation of proliferating micro-organisms has been observed by medical doctors in times past. When investigating the illness, the real question was how did the human organism become so out of balance that germ and viral organisms proliferated?

Why are we actually ill, if the proliferating organism is also a symptom?

Modern industrial civilization is full of poisons, in the soil, the air, the water, the food, and the medicines (pollution and side effects are the common euphemisms).This began in the mid-1800’s, as observed by Steiner, when materialistic thinking triumphed. A medical science arose that viewed parts as more significant than wholes, and, in addition, found no way to measure such ephemeral psychological phenomena as sensitivity (some folk more likely to overreact) and stress (stress causes the release of hormones that are “the same ones that trigger your body’s “fight or flight” response. Your heart races, your breath quickens, and your muscles ready for action. This response was designed to protect your body in an emergency by preparing you to react quickly. But when the stress response keeps firing, day after day, it could put your health at serious risk.” Modern life if filled with stress. The Trump years, as well as dictators and drug lords all over the world, increased stress.

In a certain sense we have been breeding human beings to be biologically weaker, further from the natural world, breathing poisoned air, water, food, and taking medicines that treat us as machines.

The flu is the wisdom of the body trying to eliminate these toxins. It was not the world’s karma to arrive at wisdom, without a severe trial. “Western” civilization, with it anti-spiritual biases, had to crash and burn, just as Atlantis crashed and burned (flooded by the Gods and Goddesses) so as to make possible the next phase of cosmic evolution.

The greed and immorality of certain groups is an incidental aspect, not a primary cause. Those folks too have karma, and the Mother and Her Son announce the beginning of the end of our civilization with this covid-crazy crisis.

There is no return to a new normal in our future. For example, in America there are already huge tent cities, full of cars, where people who lost their jobs and their homes/apartments gather. Right now the economy is held up by the printing presses of the Central Banks.

New thinking and new ideas need to be generated. From individuals, not institutions. Artists are crucial for sanity.

Is the Anthroposophical Society capable of weathering this transition? Probably not. However, individuals everywhere in the world are discovering their heart’s mind as a function of the present cycle of the evolution of consciousness. Find “your” tribe. Think about how to weather the storms. Christianity is actually very simple: pray in private, judge not, and love god and each other.

pagan anthroposophy

Pagan Anthroposophy – what is happening beneath the surface textures and riddles, among the unelected leadership of the Society. Down in the caves, dancing in the moonlight. Where did Christ go on Saturn-day?

I just opened an email, which contained “Anthroposophy World Wide – what is happening in the Anthroposophical Society” I am tempted to be sarcastic at the hubris. So it goes, as KV wrote on occasion.

I have a friend, an Anthroposophical Doctor, who has been deeply in the froth of the confusion. These kind of folks are the real superheroes. If the AMA sees you as a heretic, the licenses is taken, an action certain to increase the stress of all their patients.

I also notice that the Occult Propaganda machine is beginning to leak a few bits of actual sanity. Folk are looking back over a year of plague now, and asking questions as to the weak logic in the official narrative.

Whenever I hear a personal – on the ground, no home no job story – these folk often make a lot of sense. Artists, of course, see more deeply than most Steiner-quoters I read.

The movie everyone should watch is: NOMADLAND. Reminded me of the end of the movie “The Grapes of Wrath”, where the grandmother, even in her sorrow, tells the audience, and those sitting with her: “We will abide”.

Steiner: “In Anthroposophy it is the truth that matters. In the Anthroposophical Society it is the life that matters”.

One of the first anthro-conferences I attended (total is around five), there was a man, who in my recollection had the name Bart Eddy. He told about a dream, in which president Eisenhower was realizing that his interstate highway system was the black road, of which Black Elk dreamed, If recollection serves, BE also shared that Ike had said to him, that America had something to share with Europe, on a spiritual level.

Could it be sass?

a: impudent speech : BACK TALKShe takes no sass from her students.

b: bold rudeness or impertinence especially when considered playful, appealing, or courageous

Part of the dark mystery is that, even tho’ some Society leaders’ may be “disliked”, heaven forbid of course, agreement is hard to have. Some think the truth is important, even tho’ officials have a line on this’s and that’s, … it is each of us that is on the hook for what truth we have, the membership and friends to have their own ideas.

Steiner screwed up on occasion. He was also wise, like a good magus, hiding amazing stuff in plain sight. The future of Anthroposophy, and the Society, lives in the study groups, and waldorf parents folk as well. Ordinary people faced with extraordinary times, where the periphery is more useful that the centers.

Is there value in the centers? Of course. There are also weeds, stones, and debris. The centers should not be telling anyone about how to think Steiner. They can wash the feet of the periphery – perform a service, most of which is already in place – keeping the different signs and planets connected to each other, and in orbit around the rising Sun, in each heart’s mind.

Sophia, Anthroposophia, the Mother has a zillion names, and only one avatar body. All the same, the truth of Anthroposophy, however personal in any individual, is a world spiritual center (there are more than one), a bright light in the horizon of a dark appearing day.

Anthroposophy is the subject of the Hopi Prophecy. A core center, those ancient prophets called the true white brother people, who when needed would come to the aid of the aboriginal peoples all over the world. I have written a lot about this, even went to the Hopi Mesas on Easter Saturn-day. In first words, of the book Dune, a woman character who becomes a writer, begins: “In the beginning is the time for taking the most delicate care that the balances are correct. This every sister of the Bene Gesserit knows. To begin your study of – here I use a different name than Muad’Dib, rather “Rudolf Steiner”, then take care that you first place him in his time.”

Civilization is on a course to- perhaps – crash and burn. Steiner feels the winds of the time, yet sets aside the poetic-silly, for doing what natural scientists were doing: writing books and giving lectures.

I see/hope that he will be seen as the John the Baptist figure of the Second Coming of Christ in the World of Thought. The Voice Crying in the Wilderness of Scientific Materialism.

Does the reader of this know that aboriginals in America birthed many civilizations, some like Greece in beauty of Ideas, yet on the Earth, stewards of the world, whose priests went with Christ from the Cross to the Mother, aka: the Saturn Mysteries, the oldest remembered. The Hopi Prophecy calls the steam in which we ride, this way: “The are Sun clan. They are Children of the Sun.” Christ being in the Sun at the time when Atlantis fell from grace. We are to have “the life plan for the futures”. Part of it maybe, … that is if we folk who label ourselves anthroposophists, and students of Steiner, let themselves see the truth here.

All over the world folk are reanimating their local Earth Religions. Yet they all abide in cultures dominated, by scientific materialism – a chain of locks, whose keys we hold.

Early Meetings with the Mother

Early Meetings with the Mother

In the beginning I only had an idea of the Mother. My friend, Stephen Clarke, from my days on the Ark, spoke of Her, sharing that through what he called “belly clairvoyance” he visited with Her and Her Court on a regular basis. It was like having tea and conversation, he said.

Before the Ark, when I was living near the base of Mt. Shasta, I had a “nature encounter”. Only now do I get it that this is one of the Ways She speaks to us.

While living there I had been touched by Christ, one morning, He gifted me with a vision and a dream together. I was reading for the first time Tomberg’s Meditations on the Tarot. Leaving aside the details, one concrete result was that I was being invited by Him to join the Catholic Church, which I did a few years later.

There was a night, when I was driving down the road to the farm where we were living, and which we were leaving the next day to drive to New England. Suddenly in my headlights was a giant bird, standing in the roadway – a heron. I stepped out of the car, and stood watching this wonder, which after a time rose into the air and disappeared into the night.

I did feel that the local nature was, by this gesture, saying goodbye.

Several years later, when I had retired on social security at age 64, I was living in Prescott, Arizona in a studio that had been created from a garage. I went on a fast to loose weight, and about 12 days in started having visions each morning. I took notes, the fast lasted 45 days, and the following year I wrote my first book “the Way of the Fool”.

During that year, one morning just before sunrise, while I was doing Bardon exercises, I had a sudden impulse to go to the door. I opened it and looked, to find a doe standing there, still and quiet, silently looking back at me. We watched each other for about a minute or two, before she walk slowly away.

Also during this year I had my first direct encounter with Her. I was working on my shadow side, and meditating on my many flaws and follies, and had the thought that He and She knew us intimately. All of us, perpetrators and victims.

My soul cried out in anguish: How can you deal with this knowing of our horrible and terrible natures. She spoke then, to my heart, yet there was a voice in my mind as well. She said: “We turn it into Love”. How that could be done I did not guess – a riddle only in recent years solved.

In 2007 I was living in Fair Oaks, Californian. I discovered I had a-fib. Experimental medicine was offered due to my poverty. It made my emotions very labile. That resulted in a break up, and a move out the next day. A few weeks later, three weeks after having a stress test, I woke feeling very strange, called my former partner, who drove me to the ER.

My first heart attack was while being questioned by the admitting nurse. The second an hour later. I woke up two and half days later, in a room with three of my five children watching and waiting.

Subsequently, a bit recovered, I was at a meeting of the Faust Branch there. They were studying an early work of Paul Emberson’s on computers and such. I experienced the room becoming darker, and spoke into that mood a caution that speaking of “evil” so intimately was calling its presence in to our circle.

Two “friends” of mine, one a Christian Community priest, angrily yelled at me that I didn’t know anything about Anthroposophy.

A few weeks later, the room in which I had been living, after the break up, became not longer available. I had to leave, with the choices being moving to the SF Bay area where three of my children lived, or step off of a cliff, to drive across America in the winter, in a rented car, to a place offered to me by a former friend – a Mohawk shamaness – who had a garage apartment I could live in.

The drive, begun on January 2nd, had many adventures, being in the Winter, and included finding that the rented car had two tires that were threadbare down to the wires.

On Epiphany, I lay down on the motel bed, psychically exhausted as well as physically. I felt such despair from my year of troubles, that I not only wished to die, I wished to no longer exist.

For all of the Holy Nights I had been doing a ritual. It began with speaking aloud the Lord’s Prayer, followed by a self-created prayer of gratitude, ending with reciting the first 14 verses of the John Gospel, as recommended by Steiner in the 12th lecture of his John cycle. Having no ambitions to be, there was nothing left to do but do this rite once more.

With the very first word “Our” I wasn’t in Kansas anymore. For the next three hours, I was helped to meet Beings connected to all the ideas of this rite. I learned, for example, that the whole of the creation says this prayer to the Father, recognizing He made All.

I did not yet recognize the Mother in this, for She acts without seeking credit of any kind. Selfless love and grace on a level we can hardly imagine.

One consequence of my stepping off the cliff to travel eastward, was that in October 2008, I met my Lady. We have been together ever since.

Over the winter of 2009-2010, I was visited by the Lesser and Greater guardians. As a consequence I became very productive. I created over 270 videos for YouTube, wrote my masterwork on a phenomenological study of social-political existence: “The Art of God – an actual theory of Everything”.

Among numerous essays written in the following months was a contemplation of “religion”, which I called: “Saving the Catholic (Christian and universal) Religion, from the failing institutional Roman Church, through deepening our understanding of the Third Fatima Prophecy.”

After posting this work of many months to my internet pages, I walked down the driveway to the mail box to send back a Netflix DVD. As I approached the area where the driveway was nearest two arms of the forest in which we nestled, a river of squirrels poured forth from both sides. Fifty or sixty, dancing and cavorting and chattering back and forth. I stopped dead in my tracks for a couple of minutes, amazed at this wonder.

I strongly suspected that I had made Her happy with that work. My Lady later went on-line and bought me some stuff, with the label: “dances with squirrels”.

Some years later, when my Lady had moved us all to Paxton, MA, I was on the deck wondering about my knees which were getting worse, becoming bone on bone.

To my left, about five feet away, a squirrel limped up onto the deck dragging its right leg. After a pause it moved from shadow into sunlight, faced me directly, its leg no longer limp. A message from the supreme forest messengers: give your knees sunlight and sun warmth.

These days my relationship to Her is more ordinary. A frequent companion when thinking, along with Her Son. A warm wind in the soul, guiding my heart’s mind to regions of new understanding. I ask questions, that I must answer myself, yet in that process never ever alone.

sunday ruminations

It is Sunday, the memory of continuous resurrections. I have taken the Sacrament of the Ganja-Goddess, sat down to write, helping some supplemental observations of the scale of the Art, of the Mystery Rite of the plandemic Pandemonium Reboot – a combination of the Mother as Divine Providence and the Son as the Artist of Karma – helping Them – the Ideas – have a voice.

It helps to add to our appreciation of linear time, observations of simultaneous time as well. We can also recall Steiner’s remarks that some folk reincarnate rather quickly – taking only twenty years from death to a new birth. Then there are the outliers, the demons, Vulcans, elementals living in technology, and various individuals of the lower ranks of the Luciferic and Ahrimanic realms, who all need a more or less human incarnation, aspects of which they had not yet obtained, because – wait, go for it – spiritual time is not linear time.

We could leave the realm of the uncreated and unformed in a sequence that is …. say, an incarnation at the time of the Christ Events, followed by an ancient Egyptian incarnation, after which there is an incarnation before physical incarnations, where we worked out what characteristics we needed to shed, leading to a sacrificial becoming as the seeds of the animal kingdom … A life is also a collection of Nows, one following the other. The Earth sphere is covered with billions of folks, here to undergo serious trials -(washing the feet, the scourging, the crowning with thorns, the carrying of the cross, the crucifixion, the entombment, and the resurrection)- – inner experiences that are only possible in this Moment of the Rite of the plandemic Pandemonium Reboot – a Rite centuries in creating

.Christopher Budd called these billions a whole lot of folk coming to a party. Yet, humans show much restraint in the linear moment, a situation with dark potential. Tomberg spoke of the cruise ship, with a Captain and crew, while the rest had a good time. Certain decks aflame, others more temporarily quiescent.

Picture a tree (a special symbol in most Earth Religions), with its roots reaching down into the dark of the earth, where are caves bathed in moon-light; and its stalk, rising toward the sun and the stars, waiting to eventually flower. That wonder of the biography is lived in a tale of layers of Nows, upon Nows, upon Nows … walking, falling, and getting back up

In the Gospels, we are told the story of John the Baptist, saying the One coming after him will baptize us in Fire and Holy Breath. Christ also says the He came not to bring peace, but a sword. If we read the verses following that line, we hear that He is to set father against son, mother against daughter, and master against servant.

This means that a fundamental aspect of this Moment is a process of individuation. A social phenomena such that, while Steiner alerted us to the group soul, we can observe that with the arrival of the ’60’s, and the following world wide musical eruptions (rock ‘n roll; jazz, reggae, and hip hop) a wedge became driven between the young and the old, breaking the chains of the group soul.

Thinking became independent of the conforming straight-jacket of social control. This exists, even in dictatorial culture such as modern China, which has an inner soul world that is invisible to the rulers, … a spirit/spark that is divine. Excessive social pressure will find greater resistance following each increase in oppression. Smoldering fires.

The Hungry Bosses can gain material social control, but not of the heart’s mind. Different people choose to make war against these “rules”, while most “choose” to follow, still leaving the inner world belonging to them, even to the gates of madness and death.

For example, I was told by a person of Japanese culture, that the soul had a formal-self, a less public family-self, and a secret-not -shared-self. Their language having words/concepts for these aspects of the inner world.

Clearly the modern biography is being baptized by Fire, the whole world filled with social conflagration. This is the outer social environment. The inner environment is otherwise.

The Second Coming in the Ethereal (thought) World is happening on an individual level. Each, to their own necessity, will follow appetites on one hand, and higher individually intuited conceptions on the other, all rising and falling on the winds of Holy Breath,. In cartoons we have the classic archetype, where on one shoulder sits an angel, while on the other a devil. Steiner’s Representative of Humanity – a similar vital archetype – ordered in the vertical, while simultaneously a towering work of Art. Not an instinctive cartoon, but of the same relationship glorified.

Each biography is also bound within limits, for the reach of the personal will – in a material sense can be very narrow – while the inner will-world is filled with imaginative light and potential. A prisoner can come to learn that he is not the prisoner, the jailer is. Up the scale of that thought, … and in American prison-lore is heard: “we are all doing time”

.Our common situation, a school of hard knocks and shared pain, includes the fact that our personal attitudes toward this “plague time”, are still only a barely grasped big picture, while the opportunities and tasks of our personal life can seem quite small, yet house on fire immediate in comparison A true story of todays world is writing its own new Gospel

Here we see the Mystery guiding the course of that Whole, in such a Way, that the Monad-Parts too have a role. We are the divine in the circumstances of our lives just by being present, whether we have such a conception or not.

The World burns with appetites and virtues at war within each. Our individual lives are the divine, such that it is truth to say, we are all the right people, in the right place, at the right time.

The Mystery trusts us, in those small but essential moments of choice. Perhaps it is time to Trust Them.

Consider that, what Steiner called “the Christ Impulse”, is in everyman’s nature. Such that the sword of truth (which does not give us peace) is individualized. We are forged into the cutting edge of truth-becoming, in the realm of the reach of our personal will.

Mom – the Four Horseman, plague, famine, conquest, and war, and artist of rogue weather, while catching us at the gate of death – ran us to ground, stopped civilization in its tracks … giving everyone a time out. A reflecting pause in the becoming of the life of soul and spirit. Her Son, stands at the gates of the heart’s mind, His Macrocosmic Gaze a warming with wonder wind to the sails of our own choices. We choose, He follows with us in the lead, while She cleans up after us, turning darkness into light. Now upon Now. Event inseparable from aftermath.

The Moon returns, the ancient wisdoms of the goddess are remembered, and magic and mysticism color outside the lines.~!~!~!~!~!~!~!!!~~~~lines of dark upon light, dancing across a page, teasing ….

~!~!~!~!!~~~!~!~!~~the picture above reveals the trials of gravity and life, … darkness necessary to the temple, as well as light. in the center, the small in relation to the great … as above so below, and, as below so above, for the miracle of the one

an offering to Stuart Weeks and the Center for American Studies at Concord, on “Thanksgiving”

My name is Joel A. Wendt. I have been a devote of the Holy Mother ~!~ Earth Mother for five decades. This is why, on my blog I refer to myself as a “white-privileged, Christian, son of Montana, American citizen, shaman, and professional heretic.”

Obviously there is some irony in the idea of “white-privileged, Christian’s” having a shaman, until you ask the Mother, who says “Why not? Don’t they too deserve to remember Me?”

Stuart and I had a conversation Wednesday afternoon, where I told him of some work I was doing, seeking to get folk who practice environmental law, to start to engage in an annual Rite, each Earth Day (April 20th), where they would – as many as possible – file lawsuits against multi-national corporations for their rape of the Mother’s sphere of life; and, in these legal actions ask this question: If a corporation can be a person before that law, then certainly a Planet can be a person before the law.

It is not the purpose of these actions to win. Rather it is the purpose of this work to publicize that question, and through this take the question from the Courts of Law to the Courts of Public Opinion.

As you know, there has to be evidence that can be offered, or these suits can be summarily dismissed.

As you are aware, we live in an age where the religion of scientific materialism (all is matter, there is no spirit), rules our ideas of what is real. What most folk are not aware of, is that since the early days of the 20th Century, works uniting a science of matter, with a science of spirit, started to appear. This work is called Goethean Science, after one its pioneers – the poet/scientist Goethe, who discovered how to read what he called: the Book of Nature.

One consequence of this work is that there now exists a great many texts, fully scientific, yet true to the spirit as well. It would not be too far fetched to believe that this work is the “true white brother” of the Hopi Prophecy.

I went to visit Grandfather David Monogye at the Mesas, over the Easter Weekend of 1985. We were having a private conversation, holding hands given his blindness, when the house filled up with folk who had just participated in a Ceremony.

Knowing time was running out, I silently said a brief prayed and tried to summarize my message, in which I said something on the order of: “I believe I know who the true white brother is. These people have created a science in which spirit is real. They are from the East, they are children of the Sun” At which moment, a granddaughter of his stepped between us, broke the physical connection, demanding that I leave, because she did not want me “disturbing this old man’s dreams”.

I left. Some of my writings on the true white brother can be found at this link:

When I talked to Stuart about some of these legal matters, I said to him that these works really belong to the aboriginal peoples of the world, for they prove what such folk have always known: the Planet is a living self-aware sentient Being.

Stuart then asked me to write this, and to also be there at the beginning of Sunday’s work, so as to be able to answer any questions. As to evidence for the lawsuits, I have listed about 14 books that can be offered, which are at this page of my blog:

These books have the virtue that they do not just reveal the spirit in Nature, but at the same time help correct and heal certain confusions that are part of scientific materialism. That religion knows a lot, but not everything.

For folk who wish to help with this lawsuit process, here is another link:

Robert asked a very reasonable question. My response was a bit cheeky, perhaps even snarky. That we should be allies, however, is essential.

What do we do with the knowledge that a science of the spirit can be added to a science of matter?

Victor Bott’s remarkable work for the layman, Anthroposophical Medicine, describes itself as “an extension of the art of healing”. It is available in many formats on the Internet, just Google it.

Recall that I wrote that we sue the multinational corporations not to win, but to raise the question of the person-hood of the Planet before the law. We all face the pending doom described as “climate change”. Some believe our survival as a species is a risk.

The Mother is rogue weather, the Four Horseman (plague, war, famine, and conquest), as well as the Gate of Death. Fundamentally, if we do not get our environmental act together, She will sweep the mess clean, just as She did to Atlantis 14,000 years ago.

Western Civilization is already dying into a new becoming, and whatever our world view, or our issues of having to choose between between wisdom and appetite on a daily basis, there are no perfect people anywhere in the world.

The covid-confusion is Her. Doesn’t make any difference whether we think there is a contagious bug taking us closer than usual to the Gate of Death, … She is giving us a warning, and a time out, with time to reflect on all our various follies.

People, who are against corporate works, are often ignorant of a fundamental legal concept called: Due Diligence. The law requires that corporate officers must maximize shareholder values over any potential dangers to workers, consumers, or the “environment”. If they don’t, they can be sued by shareholders.

We also need to realize that She led us here, on purpose, because Her immortal children have been undergoing a process of the evolution of consciousness for millennia. Just as She has a precious and remarkable inner self-aware sentient consciousness, so do we.

At this particular moment of Nows upon Nows upon Nows, each individual biography is being loved. We are being given just those personal trials of needing to resolve conflict in our immediate social/karmic environment, that will enable us to give birth to the next stage of this evolution of consciousness: learning to follow the intuitions of the own heart’s’ mind.

Not everyone will succeed, but moralists running around judging other folk, are not attending to the arts outlined by Her Son, in the Sermon on the Mount. The basic growth point is found in learning to Judge Not. That is not simple, or easy. When we judge, such folk as Trump or Putin or the billions defined as evil doers, we harm ourselves. We are all brothers and sisters, prodigal children, being offered an opportunity to grow inwardly according to our own Way of Being.

As John the Baptist said: He will baptize us all in Fire and Holy Breath. He said, I come not to bring peace but a sword.

It can help to realize that tragic and terrible Events are followed by an Aftermath. Take a flood, for example. Many displaced, some even dead. Prior ways of living destroyed. Hundreds of strangers in need of help, hundreds of folk needing to be helpers.

In the meantime, we have an opportunity now to ourselves participate in the adding of a science of the spirit to a science of matter. We do this ourselves, it not being our business what anyone else is doing. We also need to be awake to the dangers of evangelizing our Way, and/or making it rigid with a fundamentalist attitude.

My recommendation is that people form groups, who buy to share one of the books in the link in the prior essay, repeated here:

Read the book together. Help each other learn to see the spirit in nature in a scientific Way. Leave the Big Picture to the Big Picture folk: Her and Her Son, and mind the trials of your own personal life. It is not our business to fix others. We have to learn to fix ourselves first.

Rebel Anthroposophy

Rebel Anthroposophy

A recent conversation with John Beck, director of communications for the Anthroposophical Society in America, got me to wondering about the state of that Society under the pressures of the covid-rite [1] I began then to recall certain thoughts I had shared with the Society in the past [2].

For example, one day – about 15 years ago – Dr. Kelly Sutton [3] wondered to me what it might mean that “the business of America is business”. Today I did some research, and here is the full quote by President Calvin Coolidge Jr.:

After all, the chief business of the American people is business. They are profoundly concerned with producing, buying, selling, investing and prospering in the world.”

In the following years I often thought about this “idea”, and wondered whether or not the Anthroposophical Society in America should reconfigure itself as a “business”, and as part of Steiner’s Economic Life, rather than as currently conceived – an aspect of the Cultural Life.

My own experience, of the coming into being of the anthroposophical experience in America, was that it had involved a kind of cultural/spiritual imperialism. Beginning in the early years of the 20th Century, many anthroposophists from Europe had come to America, and found places for themselves.

For example, the two major Waldorf teaching training centers – one in Fair Oaks, California, and the other in Spring Valley, New York – were both run for about 20 years by Europeans. Fundamentally, Americans were being taught about their soul life, that it should be modeled on European soul life.

My view is that one of the consequences for Waldorf in America was a series of social blunders. The American teachers were taught, via this spiritual imperialism, by folk who did not truly understand American’s own soul life, and as consequence the soul life of the children, and the soul life of the parents.

Yes, this is overly broad, and there are teachers in American Waldorf Schools [4] who manage to operate with some freedom from the unconscious biases about America, carried by European anthroposophists, such as a kind of excessive assumption that America was the land of Ahriman, from which they would rescue us. Again, these are generalizations, yet I would have to write a long book just to detail the phenomena regarding this situation I have personally observed.

Here is a simple point for purposes of illustration on the social level. The German language has two different words for you – one more formal, and one more intimate. The American, however, wears his heart on his sleeve, is the saying.

This was not done with bad intentions, but rather with a kind of thoughtlessness. Steiner was very clear in pointing out that the soul life of the world’s social aspects of East, Centre, and West, were quite different from each other. Yet, in my experience this possible co-working of West and Centre was never discussed in America, a situation that seems to continue to this day.

The thinking that followed my exchanges with John Beck led me to wondering how much wealth from American anthroposophists goes to the support of what goes on in Dornach, Switzerland. The odd, yet perhaps quite apt thought that followed: Is this taxation without representation?

It is true that a couple of American personalities have been in the leadership in Dornach, but by and large they seem to succeed to the extent they go along with the views in that aging center of anthroposophical life. A major defect in those views is that becoming skilled at quoting Rudolf Steiner is a virtue. In fact, Steiner’s major contribution to our human future is his science of knowing (GA-1 through to GA-4), with which few Society leaders are familiar.

Those discoveries are the key to evolving scientific materialism (all is matter, there is no spirit) towards the deeper truth that spirit is everywhere.

Let me next shift gears a bit.

Antifragile: Things That Gain From Disorder is a book by Nassim Nicholas Taleb. [5] It’s central thesis is that any social form which is too traditional, or otherwise rigidly organized, is not capable of surviving a period of severe social and political chaos, such as what the covid-rite clearly has engendered.

To that concept let me add the ideas of center and periphery, and of preservers and innovators. In my book American Anthroposophy [6], I write of the Martha and Mary impulses. Martha stays home and keeps the spiritual fires there preserved. Mary goes out into the world, and while confronting it as it is, needs to innovate.

Rudolf Steiner was clearly aware of these seemingly opposite social impulses. We can see this in the fact that he urged, that while centers needed to exist, at the periphery he saw to it that Branches and Study Groups came into being.

The result is that all over the world are these small groups, the leading edge of the work of Anthroposophia in the far away places … a biodynamic farm, a Waldorf School, an anthroposophical medical practice, or even one or more version of “shared living” to support folks with special needs.

A question that has to be seriously considered: Is what the world needs from the Mary innovative impulse, to be taught to revere Steiner in the same fashion as is done where preservation is the need? Or something different. What does the world need/want, as against being taught to read a lot of Steiner lectures?

A major component of the covid-rite is that scientific materialism, in denying spirit, does not understand the reality of either death or illness. Scientific materialism is not anti-fragile, but rather a rigid religion lost in its own confusion, made all the more acute by the present day dying and becoming of “Western” civilization.

It is also understood, in anthroposophical culture, that personal moral freedom is essential. Part of what that means is that the various Centres, such as Dornach, have no business telling the periphery what to do.

If, in American, … if the chief business is business, how does the periphery – the Branches and Study Groups, need to alter their processes in order to become functioning commercial enterprises?

It is my perception of anthroposophical life in America, that Steiner’s science of knowing is paid almost no attention at all. Nor do folk study – in the Branches and Study Groups – the Goethean scientists, whose phenomenological practices find the spirit, yet remain fully involved in the observation of Steiner, that science was the modern Way of Knowledge.

As the covid-rite evolves, there will be a need for many to appreciate how the rigid social institutions (news, politics, and medical experts) all went into failure mode. The Mary impulse can then adapt/innovate in response, by themselves studying and sharing the science of knowing, as well as the Goethean scientists, while at the same time doing this as a local business enterprise.

Folks are used to spiritual knowledge coming in the form of being a product that is sold to willing customers. They will be unfamiliar with Steiner, and most important, those remarkable students who followed Steiner into Goetheanism. They will also want to understand the covid-rite … to find an underlying way to perceive these trials via a means that is dedicated to evolving scientific materialism, beyond its now obvious defects.





[5] 4


dancing with aristotelians

joel a. wendt, “white-privileged, Christian, son of Montana, American citizen, shaman, and professional heretic”, would like to add to the above – another, yet complimentary point view. Even Steiner recognized the paradoxical nature of much of existence.

Right now anthroposophical thought is dominated by an Aristotelian point of view. This Way typically likes to name something, and to treat the spiritual/material worlds as in opposition. Further, in Europe in particular, there is also habit of antipathy, through the process of what I label: discriminatory and/or comparative thinking’

What we name evil is supposedly stronger than what we name good, and Steiner gave us a lot of stuff to call evil. Some of it, especially the idea of the inner earth having evil regions, is flat-out in error. Why? Because, when he went there as a “spiritual researcher”, and in the threshold of that world met this realm, with his egotism and assumptions, he found a mirror. What was unredeemed in Steiner’s own nature was what he saw.

When we do meet Her, Holy Mother – Earth Mother, we need to be naked, unadored, and fundamentally human in the sense of being flawed and imperfect.

Christ as the Artist of Karma, and the Mother as Divine Providence, multitask on a cosmic level. There is no detail that does not belong. We are all the right person, in the right place, at the right time.

We could look at the post-Atlantean Age as something mere words cannot describe. Given that there is value in naming, even though we need to be careful, I will offer of few “names”.

The Mother Is Rogue Weather, the Four Horseman (conquest, famine, plague, and war), and the Gate of Death, which the Pieta so beautifully captures.

If we look at history, and social development, in a Geotheanistic Way, we might notice that prior to the arrival of the three patriarchal monotheisms, polytheistic religions were at one time everywhere. The Theory of U suggests that what was happening was a descent into matter, such that the Hebrews struggled with the Fall, at which point Christianity turned the corner with Love, and the completely misunderstood religion, Islam, via Surrender (a female gesture) showed the Way Up, out of matter.

One religion, not three.

This process was not accidental. The Earth Religions had to be forgotten, to the point that scientific materialism, with its “all is matter there is no spirit”, could appear. Why? Because we need to feel ourselves separate from Nature, in order to find our independent ego through resistance.

The ancient Way of communion-with the sentient consciousness living in Nature had to be forgotten, and was turned to dominion-over, otherwise the female heart’s mind would not tolerate the hardening toward Nature, which was to come.

Out of this well-cooked stew “Western” civilization was birthed. As a living social form (organism), there had to come its death, which is where we are today. This dying and becoming is hard to see, because we are too close.

An important phenomena, that is something ineptly named, is the population explosion. We are billions because we all have chosen to be here in this medley of Nows. Why? Because just here the Art of Karma and Divine Providence have made a world of Love, in which the individual biography is the greatest mystery. Most of the named aspects of modern life, listed in the article above, are secondary effects of the need of humans to each and everywhere, experience Christ’s Baptism by Fire and Holy Breath. Without a world of troubles, there is no possibility for all to have their personal trials of individual moral riddles, for which their religion, or their society, provides no guidance

The dramas everywhere, such as the plandemic Pandemonium Reboot, is Her putting Her foot down on the lemming like journey of “Western” civilization, off of several cliffs. Everything is stopped. People are given time to reflect, not being so busy being busy.

If the reader was familiar with the Seven Stages of the Passion of Christ (washing the feet, the scourging, the crowning with thorns, the crucifixion, the death, and the resurrection), we would find that a study of individual biographies shows that everyone faces such trials.

I’ll give one example. Many people are dying from suffocation, which is how Christ died.

I’ll next (I could go on and on and on) make an observation about Covid, and germs and viruses.

If we think in wholes instead of parts, we just might realize that these entities, due to the nature of the Mother, are fully interconnected via a self-aware sentient intelligence that Steiner knew would be best represented by the Platonistic mind … a mind born in the mysteries of the Mother.

Clearly, to anyone familiar with the real standards of scientific thinking, it is known that scientific materialistic medicine doesn’t have a clue about what it is doing. At the same time, this is how the Social Matrix offers each individual opportunities for self-engendered moral growth

The idea in the article that we are not meeting spirit is a mistaken observation. Much has happened since Steiner passed. One could list the history he did not live through, but I will just mention the 1960’s, the appearance of the New Age, the return of worship of the goddess, but most crucially, the displacement of Old World music, with New World Music: jazz, reggae, hip hop, rock’n roll, …

Modern artists contribute a great deal, and in the next weeks I am going to do videos on many related subjects, with an early focus on the popular – all over world – Marvel films. Born in the free visual arts of comics, Stan Lee and company have gotten folk to learn about ancient religions (Thor, Loki, Hera et. al.), just for starters.

Let me help the reader who might wish to take a look. Disney+ has a section devoted to Marvel films. One of the ways we are helped to follow – this twenty related group/series of films – is that we can watch the series in time order, although the release of the films was more chaotic in a sense.

If we understand archetypes in art, especially literature and film, these films are organized around an artistic sensibility. The first is Captain America, a soldier for doing right. In later films we meet his darker brother, the Winter Soldier. The series of films, around these two characters, weaves a tale of best friends, forced by circumstance to follow seemingly paths of good and evil, which gets resolved because Captain America refuses to give up on his friend, however dark he was made to be.

We also have Iron Man, a scientific genius who loves to tinker. He is full of himself, and goes so far as (in “the Age of Ultron” film) to unite an artificial intelligence with the wearable powerful war machines Iron Man has created for himself. He did this on thoughtless to the consequences impulse, and the results were terrible.

Last there is Thanos. A near god who believes that the way to solve the woes of all the worlds, is to … via the magic of the six infinity stones … delete half the sentient human beings in the whole universe. Fewer people, more to go around for the survivors.

Is that impulse not lurking among our billionaire class?

Then there is comedy. The series created a set of characters called: Guardians of the Galaxy. Happy go lucky clueless and blessed, clowns and fools, with the main character – at any opportunity – dancing to American tunes from post the ‘60’s.

Where are we, who have been inspired by Rudolf Steiner? This writer sez … first the Platonists and the Aristotelians have to get better acquainted. This will create a new spiritual way, that will find before it Signs that reveal that people of Gnosis (us?) need to wash the feet of people of Faith.

Not on an organization level, but one to one. Think/imagine hanging out with Jesuits, and discussing the texts from Goethean Science.

A Confession of Anthroposophical Arrogance – and Post-Covid23x Structural Riddles

A Confession of Anthroposophical Arrogance – and Post-Covid23x Structural Riddles, by Joel A. Wendt, “white privileged, Christian, son of Montana, American citizen, shaman, and professional heretic”.

Since I first met Steiner in 1978 through his books, I have devoted myself to that work. That is over four decades of labor and love. Tragically, I had – after a time – to assert myself as an “outlaw” [1], given that my take on Anthroposophy was radically different from most of those who I was meeting in the Anthroposophical Society.

At one point I even created a book: “Dangerous Anthroposophy” [2]. In this collection of essays I wrote:

The use of the term Dangerous above is discussed in the first essay, but basically what makes Anthroposophy socially Dangerous is two-fold – in point of fact the kind of Anthroposophy practiced by the Society and Movement is a two-edge sword. One type of danger is the truth that lives in it. The more truth, the more socially dangerous, whether within the shared culture of humanity or within the Anthroposophical Society itself. The other kind of danger concerns the absence of truth.

To the extent that what lives in the Anthroposophical Society and Movement is false, whether it is opinion masquerading as knowledge, or arrogance and pride, or simply mere Steinerism (a belief system, see my book American Anthroposophy [3]), this system of falsehoods harms not only the world, but also the essential nature of Anthroposophy itself and Rudolf Steiner’s true legacy. People searching out Anthroposophy will naturally look to the Society and Movement for appreciating and understanding this New Mystery. To the extent the Society and Movement are flawed, this will be seen by many to represent what Anthroposophy is in practice. It shouldn’t take much thought to realize that the representing of Anthroposophy in any kind of seriously flawed way will only lead to harm.”


The ongoing Covid23x crisis is easily the most crucial challenge in the present, for a true science of the spirit, in which anthroposophists justly believe.

There is a point to the term “23x”. As we know (sort of) the Covid virus is allegedly altering and adapting to our efforts to subdue it. 23 is a well known mystical number, and if you think that is foolish, just consider that “23” is the tenth prime number [2a], while “x” refers in algebra to the unknown factor. Forming an imaginative poetic mystical&magical sense of this Crisis may aide in knowing and understanding the “pandemic’s” mystery.

This work in this essay is directed at looking ahead, into the future of the future, while managing (hopefully) to do so with less fear and hysteria than has been our karma so far, as we search the: Situational Reality Following the Social Fire labled the Covid Pandemic.

A basic assumption of this post is that in the near future we will find out that there were a lot of lies (Big Pharma), too much hysteria (major Media), and incompetent actions (politicians)


Reading Rudolf Steiner gives a kind of knowledge and understanding of much. At the same time, he pointed out the influence of egotism in the beginning of the Path. Part of me feels strongly that I know a lot. That I know better. Tend to argue, or be contrary. In myself I came to recognize a type of thinking (one of many), which it made sense to label: comparative, or discriminatory thinking. It seems rooted in antipathy, or our instinct to dislike something or someone.

There was a recent moment where I listened to myself talk, and thought: “What an ass”.

A few days ago I participated as a listener/addendee to an American Anthroposophical Society webinar, featuring Lisa Romero [4] & [5]. Its “name” was: “The Spiritual Origin of Conspiracy”. I will try to limit what is here discussed, inspired by that talk. No promises though.

A big clue/key for me came late in the oral/video presentation, where she pointed to this idea (in my own words): Steiner spoke of something he called “the great conspiracy”, which is that folks do not know the spiritual world exists. Given that the truth lives in the ethereal, these spiritless-thoughts hardens our ethereal life, such that our consciousness looses flexibility.

She began by asking: “why are more folk not having an experience of the ethereal Christ?

She went forward then, illuminating her sense of the value of “fasting”, especially in times of religious Festivals. She added in research she had done on various scientists’ studies of fasting and consciousness. She spoke of a kind separation of the (my word’s): heart’s mind from the body during fasting, and thus connecting astral/desire body to our own cosmic nature.

Often in the morning after a night’s sleep, she explained, we then wake with something closer to the mystery. As a shaman, I write of the eight gates of Faerie, coming in pairs …. one of which is the borderland between waking&sleeping (its elemental nature in Hermetics is air/intellect). [6]

I’ve done two long fasts. The first, at age 42, began with illness, and continued for a moon period (about 29 days), before the fever fully rebated. One aspect of this involved me asking a question: what should my writing and thinking be like? The experience of the Wind in my soul sang: “music”.

The second fast lasted 45 days, and I was then 64 (will you still need me, when I’m 64 – I’m now 80). I had began the fast, not seeking spiritual experience, but rather needing to lose weight. About two weeks in I starting having “insights”, which were mostly conceptual, with an emphasis on the harmonic relationships of ideas. I took notes every night’s morning, and after the fast I spent the next year writing my first work: The Way of the Fool” … the subtitle: “the conscious development of our human character, and the future* of Christianity – both to be born out of the natural union of Faith and Gnosis”[7]

My central effort in this work was to create a bridge between exoteric (Faith) and esoteric (Gnosis) Christianity.

Later Lisa Romero spoke of our sense of “something is not right”, and I even heard her use the term “unclean”. That’s a bit harsh in my view, and my teacher of the ancient Egyptian Hermetic Science, aka: magic, makes this statement: “There is nothing unclean in the whole of the Creation”.

Towards the end of her talk, after laying out the “Conspiracy” to hide the existence of the world of spirit, she offers this:

The Four General Demands for Esoteric Development, Rudolf Steiner

1) No unproven concepts shall enter my consciousness.

2) There shall stand before my soul, a living obligation to continually increase the number of my concepts.

3) Knowledge will come to me about such things, the “Yes” or “No” of which I regard without sympathy or antipathy.

4) I must overcome my aversion to the so-called “abstract”.

Easy to say, hard to do. I would like to add here Steiner’s remarks about us needing to take three steps in character development, for each step in spiritual development.

Sometimes it feels to me as if too many anthroposophist’s don’t notice that the Mystery is not going to place all of Her/His eggs in just one basket (the teachings of RS). We need to open our hearts to other spiritual voices. Yes, many do, but sometimes I feel that the leadership of the Society belongs mostly to the best and most erudite Steiner quoters, when their vision should be wider and more inclusive.

Keep in mind that a lot happened after Steiner died, which he never experienced. World War II, the fear of the atomic bomb, the cold war, the ‘60’s – a worldwide Dionysian festival, the Vietnam War, the assassinations of major American leaders, 9/11, the near collapse of the whole world’s economy centered around the year 2008 – also something born mostly in America, increased drug use, and then the topper: the Internet, smart phones, and massive electronic surveillance.

When Lisa Romero was lamenting that something is not right, and where were the meetings of Christ in the Ethereal, my mind suggested that parallel to all these changes, the New World generated music the Old World did not have. Certain artists seemed to me to be connected to the spirit in important ways, such as: Bob Marley, Bob Dylan, Leonard Cohen, the Moody Blues [7a], … jazz bequeaths rock ‘n roll, which becomes world beat then reggae and eventually delivering in the American minority ghettos: hip hop.

The latter is reduced to the bear fundamentals of music, rhythm and rhyme. All you need is some friends, a couple of upside-down five gallon plastic empty paint cans, a few sticks, and off you go. Everywhere in the world today there are hip hop groups, often building bridges over divisions, such as the ones in the middle east, made up of both Israelis and Palestinians.

The experience of Christ in the Ethereal is everywhere. It appears most often in deeds, as it should. He does not deliver our spiritual needs expecting credit. Neither does She. They act, we are helped, with the core social fact being that the individual human being is a source of spirit. In my book, The Art of God – an actual theory of Everything [8], I point out that the Mystery is “distributed” – is everywhere, and the human being – collectively – is the leading creative edge.

In my Goethanistic studies of the social world, it was clear that so-called historical events are secondary effects of the core aspect of earth existence, which is that each individual biography is a primary locus of Love. His baptism of us, via Fire and Holy Breath, is offered to each human being, even the ones we tend to call: evil.

As an aspect of my social studies, I have spent a lot of time paying attention to the visual dramatic arts, that can be seen in film and television. Artists see, they just don’t make it a head trip. Let me give one concrete example.

Clint Eastwood, a major artist in our time, made a film called: “Gran Torino”. In it he plays a crusty widowed man, whose new next door neighbors are Hmong, mountain folk from the area of Vietnam and Thailand. They interact, he becomes involved, and one of their daughters is raped by Hmong gangsters in the neighborhood.

He has questions about what is moral. He has been a life long Catholic, and consults with a young priest. The priest’s well intended platitudes are useless, the real problem far to complex. There is a scene that takes place in the older man’s kitchen. He is standing with his arms crossed, leaning against a counter top. A young Hmong boy, brother of the raped girl, is demanding his new older friend do something. “Why are you silent? Why are you not acting?”

His reply: “I’m thinking”.

Inwardly in all of us, when faced with modern moral trials, we discover that neither our religious ways, or the social life’s urgings, can answer the riddle, which is fundamentally individual. She/He/They – the Mystery – are guiding us to the moments, where we must, to be true to ourselves, create the moral deed out of nothing.

Keep in mind Steiner’s ideas in The Philosophy of Freedom: moral imagination; moral intuition; and moral technique.

I have written about this “experience” in many places [9]. From Steiner’s indications, I have spent decades engaged in an empirical (scientific) study of my own soul/mind. When we make the choice and begin to act in relationship to the baptisms by Fire of our time, our will is aided via the most subtle (hard to observe) Wind (Holy Breath) in the soul. To our will is added His, guided by our choices.

One final (?) comment. Over the course of my life, I’ve had several personal encounters with the Burning Bush, the Ethereal Christ, and the Holy Mother. What was refreshing – and bit curious given all the spiritual “teachings” everywhere – was that They (the Mystery) did not expect perfection. They wanted us to be who we wanted to be. In fact, They and their friends (such as guardian angels) were mostly interested in the choices we were making, and I could often feel the “presence” sort of looking over my shoulder – as it were – in waiting wonder. [10]



[2a] In my view 1 is “the” prime number, which is why I see 23, not 29, as the tenth prime number. A minor quibble in the field of theoretical arithmetic.


[4] email address:

[5] website:

[6] living&dying (fire/will); remembering&forgetting (consciousness/earth); madness&sanity (water/feeling). Atypical experience of living and dying we call a near-death experience.

[7] … the work consists of twelve stanzas, divided into three sets of four each: Moral Grace, Freedom, and Love. For example the fifth stanza reads: “fifth stanza: Three New Ways – being an examination of the profound and surprising interrelationship between the What Would Jesus Do Movement; the Twelve Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous; and, Rudolf Steiner’s book: The Philosophy of Freedom (also known as, The Philosophy of Spiritual Activity,) [which stanza also contains, the Shepherd’s Tale, the King’s Tale and the Healers’ Tale]”

[7a] In 1978, the Moody Blues released an album, which spoke of the Second Coming of Christ, in this song: “One Step Into the Light” In that song there is a refrain: “all the old things are returning, cosmic cycles ever turning” They did not just mean Christ in their works but also the Mother and Her friends. I went to a concert that year, and they saved this song for the encore. When it was done, the crowd was standing, applauding and yelling. The flautist, Ray Thomas, stepped forward, and raise his soprano and alto flutes in the shape of the Cross, and the roar of the crowd doubled.


[9] “pragmatic moral psychology” and “Living Thinking in Action”

[10] This last link concerns my personal development, in this sense “ Familiar Spirits, and the Education of a Shaman”. Sure, I struggled to be a “writer”, but a great deal grew out of contributions from the Mystery, without which I would have little to say.

Familiar Spirits, and the Education of a Shaman

Familiar Spirits, and the Education of a Shaman

Here is a link to a Wikipedia page:

Caution, this is very personal, and collects into one essay material spread throughout my other writings. It will seem like a brag, yet I believe it is more accurate to see my soul and spirit as possessing natural gifts, and the deeper truth was that I was subject to a lot of what I now call: cosmic whimsy. At many crucial biographical intersections, the Divine Mystery touched me, and changed me thereby.

Among the Lore then, it is said that witches, wizards, shamans, and such folk would see/feel something Other, sometimes so strong a sending that there was a “visual” presence. Usually the familiar spirit is linked to the appearance of powers or abilities. Not always a selfless helper, and on occasion urges us into dangerous waters.

My favorite literary version is in the Barque Cycle, by Neal Stephenson [1], where the heroic male often finds himself succumbing to what he called: the imp of the perverse.

A wonderful modern excursion into such territories is the recent HBO Max release of “The Flight Attendant”, staring Kaley Cuoco, of The Big Bang TV comedy success. Not describable, yet obviously magical/metaphysical.

The primary experience is that my “I” did not incarnate in this physical body at birth. Another did, “Joey”, and his story is at this link.

When my current astral, ethereal, and physical bodies were age 31, Joey left and Joel came in. The new “I”, myself”, did not know the nature of this process, although on awakening from sleep (the change happened during this night passage), I was aware of something interior that was fading. The feeling was subtle and continued over a many months.

In essence the mental matrix by which we know our own “I” was fading, and being replaced by a new such matrix. If you read Joey’s story, you will find that he was an innocent, and a powerful natural empath. He could feel the soul of others in the sound of their voices, and how they expressed themselves. He thought everyone one could do this.

The world acted upon him, and he absorbed these experiences, but was in a certain sense rather passive. He had no desire or need to become. During his 31 years he became aware of three riddles, aspects of the world he did not understand: What was evil? Why is American politics not living up to the ideals of the Founders? And, what happened to Christianity – why was it faith without practice?

I inherited these questions, and a great deal of my work was directed at resolving them.

I have certain experiences that may fit this way of conceiving intimate (familiar) spiritual intercourse. Even Joey had them. For example, he saw an angel in church when he was confirmed at age 12. He never spoke of this to anyone.

When he was 18, and just had graduated from high school, there was a six week period before he was to enter the USAF Academy, during which interlude he would often go to the public tennis courts and look for a pick-up game with a stranger. There he met a young man, seemingly in his twenties, who when hearing Joey was going to the Academy he related that he had just graduated from this elite school, and advised Joey to “keep his head down” as the best way to survive the experience.

For years nether I or Joey thought much about this, until one day in my own reflections of this moment, I realized that at that time no one had yet graduated from the Academy. A purposeful fiction – intervention – by what was later to become a regular familiar spirit.

During a hospitalization a few years ago, “he” appeared again. I was lying in a gurney in an empty room in the ER, while waiting for a room in cardiology. He appeared in the doorway, and asked me if I knew the name of my doctor. I gave a name. He paused, as if I was mistaken, then went on: “He’s an interventionist”.

I was, myself, in inner soul pain, thinking that what with the crazy in the world I needed to go stand on a street corner and make a spiritual noise. The message then had a double meaning. My doctor was soon going to put a pacemaker in my chest – an intervention, without really listening to me tell him that the cause of my tachycardia was from a huge self-poisoning via gluten (a bad poison to which I was sensitive).

My body rejected the pacemaker/defibrillator, which was good fortune. There is a lot more to that story. To intervene, without knowing the real need, was to cause harm, whether as a doctor, or as a shaman in soul-pain. The Mystery would call on me when I was needed, which mostly means to continue to be a writer, attending to the Ideas that touch my heart’s mind, and need to come to rest in words on a page.

Back to Joey becoming Joel. One day at work, an attractive co-worker walked up to my desk, and said to me: “There once was a man named Wendt, whose mind became boggled and bent. One fine sunny day, Wendt went away, and no one knew where Wendt went.” What had she observed?

The most obvious experiences of this kind – via familiar spirits, began when I lived in the SF-Berkeley school of magic for almost fourteen years (1969 to 1983). A major aspect was forged in my decision to trust providence – the Lord is my Shepard, I shall not want. This followed my reading, and then acting upon the Sufi Tale: “The Increasing of Necessity”. I understood that life was teaching better lessons than books, although not at all as pleasant as a good read.

Still, I was a lover of books, and providence was very active in the unfolding of a very unexpected education, which on occasion included the “feeling” – that came while looking at a shelf of used books – that that particular book should be bought. I sensed this helpful entity as looking over my left shoulder, from behind me. I assure my reader that there are many such individual instances, where fate and fortune blessed me in finding the right book at the right time. Even though I was very poor, and often out of work, there was always just enough money for Franz Bardon, Rudolf Steiner, Goethean scientists, Owen Barfield, Ursula Le Guin, and the Music of the Moody Blues (of Knights in White Satin, guided by the man with clear eyes}.

The Moody Blues albums first came to my attention as a gift from a friend. The Bardon books each have a story, which will help illustrate the influence of Providence, during this phase of my present incarnation.

Around the time of the Change, from Joey to Joel, my younger brother came by my house, and wanted to do a Tarot reading for me. He used the Case deck, had me shuffle the cards, and then cut the deck three times, each time taking the top card and laying it between us. He called the first card my inner nature, and second card my outer nature, and the third card my life destiny. In order, these were all major arcana: the Fool, the Hermit, and the Magician.

A couple of months later, I had my own Case deck, got stoned and spread the cards out in a fan. On impulse I passed my hand (palm down) over the deck. There came a tingle in my index finger, and I reached down and pulled out that card. I did this three times, and in order they were: the Fool, the Hermit, and the Magician. I did not know what to make of this.

Later my brother told me he had made up the whole form of this process of divination.

Also at that house, where I was living with Tina and our first two children, Marc and Doren, there was – in the back yard – a shed, in a state of ruin, covered inside and out with odd bits of plant growth. Inside the shed was a wooden chest. I took it out, cleaned it up, and it has been with me ever since. See picture.

Another friend, on a camping visit to Yosemite, found for me a wonderful, mostly straight tree limb, about five feet tall. I cleaned away the bark, sanded the yellow/white bare wood, and then painted the three cards on the upper quarter, … from the top down, the Fool, the Hermit, and the Magician. I also did some abstract drawings in it, in the form similar to this self portrait.

One day, a man who was living in our garage, wanted to borrow the staff, and take it to a kind of new age festival in Berkeley, in what was at that time called: Ho Chi Mien park. When he left, I had the premonition that the staff would not come back, so I mentally let it go. It did not come back, and according to this man, he let another hold it, who then ran off with it. A powerful object, whose destiny remains a mystery.

My living situations began to change rabidly for a time, for the new person I was had trouble continuing to be in a relationship with Tina. I became very depressed, given that I – as Joey – had previously been divorced from Tina, and had left these children with her. How could I do that again?

One morning, in severe moral gridlock, I left the house and just starting walking. Off in the distance was Albany Hill, a forested mound rising among the otherwise flat areas next to San Francisco Bay. I walked there, a long walk, found a road and went to the top. There was a concrete Cross there, perhaps twenty feet high, surrounded by trees.

I found a place to sit, and prayed for the first time since Joey has become estranged from his youthful Christian feelings. In an instant the depression disappeared, and it was made known to me that which ever Way I chose would be morally okay. To not chose, and remain conflicted – that was the problem, a lesson relearned many times over the years.

At one point, in these early years after the Change, I was living in a house that was mostly used for lay psychotherapy, called Group House. I read the book The Magic of Findhorn [2], and knew then that magic had to be real. At the moment on finishing the book, I felt a need to go looking for the lost in time and space wizardly staff. I decide to go then on what I called a “spirit walk”.

This was a walk were at each intersection of choice of where to turn, I would just spontaneously pick a direction. The walk took me past a small book store that I usually did not enter – its window full of books of poetry and other artistic literature.

It was a typical Bay Area day, mild weather and subdued sunlight. On the side of the open doorway to the store was a tall yet narrow bookcase. It had a few books, and the case was labeled “Occult”. I saw no books on magic, yet stepped into the store, and spoke loudly to the owner (?) who was thirty feet away in the back of the store, behind a counter.

I asked if he had any books on magic. He said no, and then reached down and said wait, I just bought this this morning. I walked back, and looked at the book. It was a used copy of Franz Bardon’s “The Practice of Ceremonial Evocation”. Given my assumptions, this seemed the perfect book.

I asked the proprietor how much he wanted. He said $7.50, which was at that time all the money I had in the world. Needless to say, I bought the book.

The book was fascinating. It did have a problem, of sorts, for it said that the reader had to become familiar with his first book: “Initiation into Hermetics”, in order to make full use of this work.

I continued to be mostly out of work, trusting Providence – “the Lord is my Shepard, I shall not want”. I found money on the street. One day my younger brother came by, and gifted me with three tabs of window-pane LSD. I took those over a period of five days. The last time, I was at his apartment on Sacramento Street in San Francisco, and spent the night stoned and lying on his living room couch.

I did not sleep. I left my body, and was surrounded by many voices. They all were trying to tell me something different. I was at a cross-roads, and far too many familiar spirits were interested in me following their advice.

Some months after this, I was living in a room, in a house where Tina and my kids, and her latest boyfriend, gave me a little room that used to serve as a laundry room, although there were no machines there.

The house had an apartment below, and I become acquainted with the man who lived there. He worked as a technician for Pacific Gas & Electric. We chatted, and I told him of my magic book, and that I was on the lookout for the first book, yet had no money for it yet. We were watching TV, and the story was about a man in the Southeast, who had been burying young women alive – and now was captured.

I made the remark that I would not like to be living in his head. Somehow this woke something up in my host, who handed me $40, and said go buy the book you need, which I did.

Bardon had written a third book: “The Key to the True Quabballah”. While I had known where to find Initiation Into Hermetics, my explorations of book stores had never yielded this book.

One day I was wandering in San Francisco, and visited a very old lecture hall, with a book store on an upperfloor, that was called: The Metaphysical Town Hall. Laying on a table, were two new copies. I had enough money to buy the book, and was chatting with the clerk, remarking how hard it had been to find this book. He told me that periodically an old man would bring such books by, leave them for sale, and within a couple of days someone – who was looking for it – would show up and buy one.

In the 1970’s I had became an “addict”. LSD and weed mostly. I also had a mistress, which I did not recognize until later. The spirit called me to intercourse, and much of my mind and will were devoted to that Lady, at a cost to others, especially my children.

The next paragraphs will be like a flat rock skipping across the surface of a pond. Hints … mostly. The whimsical intervention of Providence were many, and there is not enough time to tell all those storie.

I had found my social relations falling apart. I had been too crazy with my choices. Bardon’s books said that to rely on Divine Providence could lead to harm. I went back to working jobs, and was able somewhat to keep a roof over my children’s heads, and food in their stomachs.

During the years of my “the Lord is my Shepherd”, I had learned how to dumpster dive, for food that grocery stores would throw away, because of their being past some date. Sometimes this was where the food came from.

In 1978, I had written in a notebook, this question: If the ground of existence is actually spirit, which I now knew from experience, what does this mean for our social and political life? Three weeks later, I discovered Steiner through his books. Three weeks after that, …

I’ve had visions of a kind that blow your mind in the most gentle fashion imaginable. The Burning Bush came to visit me at work – in the flesh, as I was transitioning from Franz Bardon’s Hermetic Science to Rudolf Steiner’s Anthroposophy. He blessed this shift from Moon to Sun wisdoms.

There was always a curative quality present. In the case of BB, He healed the wounds of the death of JFK, MLK, RFK, my dad, and the crazy of Vietnam. I had lost faith, and He reminded me that I did want to do something about that “out there”, as He put it.

Steiner pointed me in the direction of Goethean thinking, and its foundation for pure thinking. At the same time there were wives, children, and other blood relations, all needing attention. Jobs came and went. The Vietnam War. Nixon. Reagan was in the future, and the internet had not yet arrived.

Years passed. Another woman was fool enough to be my wife, although she did very much try to remake me. We ended up in Fair Oaks, California, where Rudolf Steiner College was, and while there I was introduced to the work of Valentin Tomberg.

It was 1986, when I was first reading Tomberg’s “Meditations on the Tarot – a journey into Christian Hermeticism”, while living near the base of Mt. Shasta, when JC touched me to heal the social biases against Catholics, imprinted on my soul in my youth, via a simultaneous dream and vision.

The wonderful element was that after being touched this way, I lay in bed, on my back, with no thought, and completely at peace for about a half-hour.

I’ll leave aside the details, although as a result I joined the Catholic Church around 1991. An event essential to my later works on the influence of the Holy Mother.

As I became more and more a “writer”, the discipline – being learned from Steiner’s works on the science of knowing – showed me that when I was thinking selflessly, and ideally, of a very real social mystery, there would be a “Wind” in my soul. Up or down was my choice, but the company lent encouragement and trust. “It” was more interested in what I thought, than any system of morals, truth, or other mystery.

In the 1980’s, I called this activity: Listening to the World Song. By the turn of the Century, I referred to “It” as the Presence of fullness, and the Fullness of presence. I was not alone, but neither was I coerced in any fashion.

She, the Mother, touched me on Epiphany 2008, although so gentle I did not know it was Her. A year and a half later, the Greater and Lesser Guardians of the Threshold played a visit, and, just after, on Pentecost, my interface between spirit and brain was rewritten – not by my will. Details are here:

All a surprise, and – truth to tell – also a weight. Gifts of this sort don’t belong to us. They are meant to be shared.

I had stopped using in 1987, and for thirty years I pursued a pragmatic understanding of Steiner’s science of knowing. I was successful in learning a great deal from an empirical study of my own soul&spiritual “inwardness”. Yet, as I aged I slowly acquired the chronic degenerative disease we call arthritis.

For pain, I was among the last directed by my doctor to try oxycodone. As an addict in recovery I could see the folly, and stopped using oxy after a couple months. It is good pain relief for serious dental work, but very dangerous if used regularly, as we all now know.

In 2017, I tried medical marijuana (the Ganja Goddess). I had a lot of trouble finding the right form and dosage, and certain medical issues required hospitalizations. In my life I’ve learned to look at “trials” as teachings. Our folly is a tool for growth if we attend rightly.

These visits also woke me up to certain problems in the medical system itself. Industrial medicine is based upon scientific materialism (all is matter, there is no spirit). As a consequence, these visits taught me much that helped me understand the covid crisis … a matter not to be elaborated here.

My main question during this return to “using” was whether or not I would maintain a connection with the familiar spirits of my life; and, in fact the mastery of dosages – through trial and error – kept me nicely “high”, and connected via that aspect of the dreaming life the Mother encourages for poets and madmen.

Novalis and Coleridge were friends with the syrup of the poppy. Now my knees are bone on bone, and I can hardly stand and walk, and for all that I am certain that there are others far worse off than I.

Recently I stopped these regular doses, remembering how good it also feels to be straight. I did get in touch with my earlier mister grumpy – personality quirk well observed by my Lady, so my usage now is one five milligram edible of THC, on Sunday mornings, as a sacrament – and mister grumpy is held in check.

The covid nightmare unfolds. I “see” it differently. [3]